Incidents, All in a day's work (continued..)

And we are back again ... with more funny workplace quotes.
If you are a first time visitor of this blog, you can read the previous post of workplace quotes from here to get some context.


Quote 1:

When after trying out several times unsuccessfully to download few files, our dearest colleague almost gave up. Someone amongst us suggested an alternative and that worked. Here is the mail snippet with happiness and joy all conglomerated.

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"Champagne anyone? :-) :-)"

X wrote:
"It must have been the corrupt files like you all said. I deleted all the install files and downloaded again.
So it went through this time. Very nice!"

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P.S. We wish these minor issues happen again and again so that we can demand champagne again and again. After all how many times in your life you will get a chance to celebrate with champagne.

Quote 2:

Wine and dine has been a part of our daily mail culture thanks to our dearest colleague. Here is a sample after successful conquest of an issue.

"Heard of "http://alwaysbroke-with-no-money.com/" ? ;-) Pinot Noir or not, I can bet you that some cheap red wine by the jug is sure to come our way if we scream louder ;-)"

P.S. Screaming louder can give you anything. Definitely screaming is the greatest strength of crybabies.

Quote 3:

Audience, do you have the power to line up workers for you to do something. No, you may not have, because you are not a Roman Emperor probably. But our dearest colleague definitely thinks like a Roman Emperor at least. You find out yourself from this snippet.

"I have lined up the QA folks to start testing this bundle - so please plan on giving the deliverable in the next day or so :-)"

P.S. QA: Quality Assurance

Quote 4:

What max can you do with status of your team members apart from preparing a consolidated report? Certainly someone thinks differently.

"Can you please send your weekly status? I need to send something by tonight :)"

P.S. We wondered what that "something" signifies for.

Quote 5:

What do you do when a project is about to be wrapped up? Certainly not all people have the exact idea.

"Are we almost at the finish line? Please let me know if there is anything at all I can do to help"

Quote 6:

Can a "something" be complex and simple at the same time. Well its probably a poetic simile. But in absolute sense of projects, I am not so sure of.

"On the Project X front, I was planning to involve you too as this will be a bundle as complex or as simple as Project Y for example. Hence, we may need your help too !."

P.S. Certainly creating a calculator program can be compared to creating a complex compiler, at least from project management perspective.

Quote 7:

A single word can be as important as salt in a curry. Here you find out yourself.

"I'm very keen to wrap this Release up as fast as possible, but XXXX has a very valid concern- we have done a great job up to this point, and we should spoil the game just because of being in a rush to finish up!"

P.S. This does not sound so encouraging without that "not" after "should". Is it?

Quote 8:

Any 2-3 words can form a meaningful subject line of an email.

Subject: How goes it?

Quote 9:

"We have the last of the two HOT issues in our court - and I know that the fixes for the same are being actively pursued (I think Person X is almost at the verge of closing issue 1 today with Person Y's help).

We are in the radar with these bugs for the age on them (again not entirely our problem). So, please ensure that we close them out as soon as possible."

P.S. My capability does not permit me to switch off the radar. Not that I am worried, but its a sense of urgency I want to show.

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Folks, that's all for today. I am pretty sure we will have more updated versions very soon.

Note: I want to personally thank few of my friends (For now, I want to keep them in anonymity) for the material for this compilation, without whom these funny excerpts could not have been possible.