An interview in my dream

Recently (well not recently in the sense of last couple of months, but probably 1 or 2 years), television is flooded with celebrity talk shows. Our Kkkkk Karan has a talk show (I guess this is probably what started the trend, yes, you are right, I am talking about "Koffee with Karan"), Simi Garewal has a talk show, Koel Puri has a talk show, now even Rakhi Sawant has a talk show (Was it a talk show? well I guess it was atleast by definition). Even Sajid Khan and Farhan Akhtar joined the list.

I happened to watch couple of shows once or twice, not because I like watching talk shows, but because it just happened to be, sometimes just when I was surfing the tv, sometimes someone else was watching and I happened to be in the same room doing something nonsense and the words entered my ear but did stick to my mind.

But mind is the strangest thing, it interprets things and not only imprints certain things in certain ways, but the sleeping sense prevails sometimes and you see yourself in strangest possible situations alien to yourself. Thats what happened in one fine night. I was dreaming that I have bcome the host of a popular (viewers wise) talk show.

And we have Miss Y (Noone knows why she is famous, I guess she is famous for being famous, [read a Paris Hilton way] ) as our guest of the talk show.

And that dream of few minutes gave me some of the funniest quotes I personally shared with the gracious Miss Y.

And here the show begins..

Me: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the greatest talk show on earth where every week we bring you the face to face with some of the most famous persons of our time. (Indeed, we only invite those ppl who can boost our show's TRP, and the show is an all-nonsense-talk-show-without-any-specific-agenda. Our only agenda is to create controversies and thats what we, the people, our society likes a lot)

And today we have amongst us, Miss. Y, the famous blah-blah-blah .... continued for 5 mins like the salutations before entering of a great king into his RajSabha.
And then she entered, and people were stunned by the look.
With all gracious "hi"s and "hello"s we settled for our show.And no doubt, the show was a smasher that day.

Me: Miss Y, first of all thanks for your gracious presence in our famous talk so. Now starting with, it seems you are engulfed with a sea of controversies, but you still seem to be laughing always without having slightest of worry.

Miss Y: Its simple, "The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on."

Huh.. Started with a bang (later I realized that it was a quote of "Robert Bloch")

Me: Well, what is your idea about life and death. If I give you a chance to choose how you want to die, what you will choose?

Miss Y: Well life, as you know is beautiful. And as you can see, I have been enjoying every bit of it. Regarding death, given a choice, "When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car".

I thought for a moment, Wonderful, who cares about others.

Me: Lot of people consider you as a genius, and you kind of simply swim through all issues handling perfectly and efficiently. How is the feeling of being in a position like that?

Miss Y: "People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world,"

Really, this is the one that really made the mark .

Me: What is your idea about all science, man kind, universe all these jargon?

Miss Y: "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."

Huh, a wisdom indeed.

Me: What is your idea about marriages?

Miss Y: "Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning." I believe in both.

Hmm, I started thinking twice

Me: In our poor country, lot of people are without jobs, they do not do anything and are upset and this is one of our biggest concern. Do you think you with such a position of power should do something about this?

Miss Y: Look, I do not believe much in that. In my opinion, "Procrastination is the greatest laborsaving invention of all time."

Yeah, thats the way we should think

Me: Recently we have a trend in bollywood which creates really long movies Whats is your opinion about that. Do you like long bollywood movies with lots of songs, drama etc or like short and to the point hollywood ones?

Miss Y: You know, I do not care about whether it is bollywood or hollywood. "The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder."

Me: What is your greatest fear?

Miss Y: Well, I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades...or a game of fake heart attack. I wish not to be in that situation.

Me: ok, one last question. It seems that your friendship with Mr. X is grabbing lot of attention. Can you tell us what is going on?

Miss Y: See, a lot of people assume lot of things, as they just see it but can not feel it. "Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."

Applause, applause .. and I woke up realizing that I just finished one of talk shows.

P.S. (We talked a lot more things, edited not to offend any of our reader)

P.S. Most of the quotes are borrowed from funny quotes sites. And to tell you a little secret, the dream was completely imaginary.

P.S. This blog is intended only for humor, if anyone feels offended by any quotes, I sincerely apologise for that